Dear Chibi,

I should have a ‘nightmare’ tag for my blog.. since this isn’t something I’d call a ‘dream’. The word ‘dream’ is so contradicting.
1. a succession of images, thoughts, or emotions passing through the mind during sleep2. an aspiration; goal; aim:

Last night I had a dream which is something I hope would never happen. Everyone from my COFA group were there, sitting around in a circle about to commence a “game” of something. We had to get into teams of pairs and naturally I turned to Somps, who was sitting besides me. However, the least expected thing happened- she told me she hated how I always forced her to be with me. I went speechless. I didn’t know what to say. I looked around, to find everyone glaring at me. I could remember each and every one of them so clearly.. they looked so real. Each took turns to bag me out, and told me they would never team up with me. Eyes were very cold. Words felt sharp. I was alone. I kept asking myself ‘why?’ I couldn’t stand it. I got up and ran as fast as I could to get away from this. I cried so much. After a few moments, I felt someone coming near me. Jacky was in a wheelchair. He looked at me firmly but couldn’t say any words of comfort. Why didn’t anyone care? I hadn’t felt worse than that very moment.

Even as I type this, I feel the sadness just thinking about it. I know this won’t happen- but to see what it is like being there is awful. It was a horrible dream.

Dear Chibi,

It was a cold windy day; I was tired, hungry and well…cold. The best thing to have apart from chocolate is hot chocolate, so I went into the first “café” I could find and asked for a cup of hot chocolate. I realized soon after that it was a rip off. Anything more expensive than the place I worked for previously is considered expensive. I felt a bit of regret upon ordering it, but the thought of yummy hot chocolate to give me energy, warmth and fulfillment was enough to keep me pleased. Finally it was ready, and I took a sip, only to find the most disgusting hot chocolate I’ve ever had. It wasn’t sweet AT ALL. What hot chocolate is not sweet? It was bland and taste like water mixed in milk..which gave it this sort of bitter aftertaste too.  Not only is the chocolate bad, but the drink wasn’t even hot. If it’s not hot..and it’s not chocolate, what did I pay for? It’s times like this that makes me thankful for the fact my life didn’t depend on it.. or I’d be dead! (touch wood)

Don’t mind me there ^_^

Rain rain, go away

Please come again

another day…

I hope you noticed the extra politeness, Mr rain- most people wouldn’t bother.

Dear Chibi,

Yesterday after my usual tutoring, Jacky and I headed off to Flora’s house for a gathering/party/hangout with the other guys who were all there by the time we arrived. Much seems to have changed since our last visit, but it’s cool… get to sit on a $20,000 $2000 sofa, lol. We had Pizza, the usual junk food and blue M&Ms (It gets a special mention =p)

After lunch we watched the magnificent Flora play Tori no Uta on her piano, it was very impressive. Around this time, I discovered the totally haunted room of her house o_o! It was more than frightening… it was freeezing there too! Some will know what I’m talking about. Afterwards we played charades and good o’ Pictionary. This pictionary game was the closest we’ve ever got to; all three teams were sitting on the last square at the end, talk about pressure XD! Jacky, Matt and I were a team; Burpy, Flora, Somps on another, and finally Meeko, Emily, MZ and Ray. It was quite entertaining, where my group and Emily’s were somewhat teaming up to stop Somp’s group from getting a turn XD The game last for quite a while and so we had dinner around 7..30?

We entered the haunted garage where the hot pot was set up and started eating away until about 8.30pm where most of the guys had to leave. Jacky, Emily, Meeko and I stayed behind and ate till about 9.30pm, chatting about anime (yaoi) and random stuff. After packing up, talking about games, weird barbies, cute polly pockets, scary baby-borns…etc etc we had dessert! I felt very very..stuffed with food, lol.

About 10.30pm, Emily and Meeko had to go, which left Jacky and I staying with Flora to about 12.40am. By that time, it was way beyond freezing outside and it started the rain lightly too. We decided to call it a day and I got home around 1.40am. At home, I had an extra blanket waiting for me and a hot water bottle, yay… thanks Mum ^^

It was quite an enjoyable day, and have to thank Flora heaps for organising everything =)

Dear Chibi,

I got to sleep in to 10am today, yay.  I had a pile of test papers with essays to mark sitting on my desk- so I started working away. That took me in total about 3 hours to mark (I think I write too many comments on the papers =p) Feedback was essential though so it wasn’t too bad. Before I knew it, it was off to class! The students have all improved since their last test so that’s a good sign :) It’s pretty funny marking tests, and a challenge too. Some of the answers they write are amusing.. and some answers I was wondering whether to give half a mark or 0. It is tricky in that respect, and especially when marking the essay. I had quite a few red pen marks crossing off whole paragraphs cause I’m just that hard of a marker =p. It also shows the student my state of mind while reading their response (they probably got the impression I went mad) I do go bizarre when students contradict themselves in the extended response. I’m just thinking ‘Why Why Why?!” ^_^; Next month will the the deadline for student reports, teachers meeting and parent-teacher interview…how exciting…

I felt like I haven’t achieved much for myself for the past few days. It is important to do something for yourself too- something that would give you personal satisfaction. Some days just pass, and I wonder what I did for myself. In this case, I know what’s missing in my life- my major project. I want to see major development, have something I could show. I can’t visualize what it’s going to look like, or know how it should look. Some things in life is like that though, you don’t see the results or your efforts until the end, which is what matters essentially. I read off something which said “If winning doesn’t matter, why do we keep scores?” To see progress maybe? This is when the concept learnt from Year 12 English pops up “It’s not the end, but the journey that matters” (misquote)- I wonder if it’s true? There seems to be conflicting ideas here. If it doesn’t matter, why do we try? What for? What I gather is that it may look like the end is all that matters, but the process is just as valuable in the long run. Mr Small (my Year 12 Eco teacher) said “Just do what you need to do, and the end will find itself and come together”.

Little chunks. Go bit by bit. Everything will be ok :)

Yes, I am talking to myself. So what? =p hehehee….

On a musical note, Chae Yeon’s (채연) My Love Album has some really nice songs. Maybe I’ll share a few some time. I’m in a K-Pop mode lately, hehee..

Dear Chibi,

Today my bro turns 21 ^_^ Instead of thinking “Hey, he’s officially considered an adult world-wide” for some reason I’m thinking “How young!” hehe.. Hope he has an awesome time celebrating~ he already had a nice dinner with family, and is gonna hang out with his other friends on different days- yet to come.

21st of June also marks the birth of ‘Dear Chibi’ Fun fun. I started blogging in 2005 but that was via MSN Spaces. With how things have been, I’ll probably continue to blog here for an indefinite period of time. I find it enjoyable. I just say whatever I want and I find that it helps get some things out (especially rants, you see a lot of that)

I think everyone should start blogs :)

Dear Chibi,

For the past 3-4 weeks or so, I haven’t had any normal dreams. They were often confusing, distracting and a huge disturbance to my sleep. I normally feel a bit of fear when I wake up too, unsure exactly why. I can’t seem to remember much (if any) of it either, unlike the in past when I could remember so much. What happened to my normal dreams? My normal dreams could be classified as those random silly dreams, but it seems they’ve gone as well. This is probably caused by something, but there’s not much going in my head at the moment, so I don’t think its because I’m thinking a lot. If only UNSW had a gen ed about dreaming and sleeping patterns, haha.. I’d be so interested. Sleep plays an important part of my life, lol. I do like it a lot, even prioritize it over phone calls (phone must be switched off when I’m sleeping!) but not so much when all you dream about is… can’t remember. haha.

It is currently week 2 of the mid-year break. I need to work more on my major project (still way behind schedule).

I want it to stop raining too.

Every time it gets to about Thursday each week, I’m feeling exhausted and lack inspiration. Yet, once Friday is over- I’m in a state of panic, knowing another week is almost over. I wonder if Jenny can get through it? I really hope so :)

Song plug~ I love this song. Haven’t heard of it before? Give it a try! Don’t trust my taste? No problem ^_^
Forever (중국어버전)- Performed by Jun Jin 전진 duet with Linda Liao)
Download (5.7mb)

Dear Chibi,

To those guys who went to Animania with me last year may remember a girl coming up to me asking if she could have a picture of my back ^_^; I must say, that was one very unusual experience- I didn’t quite know how to react. Well, I very randomly found it here. How random? Well, I was searching for pictures of Riku from Kingdom Hearts and ended up there. The fact I went to search for Riku pics is even more random (I’m not even a fan, but yeh =p it must be fate!).

Looking back at cosplay pics makes me want to cosplay again. I’m resisting though! Costume making is very time consuming, especially for beginners such as myself. With my busy schedule this year, I doubt I have the time to make a costume, and whether or not I’ll be attending Animana this year is another story. Guess only time can tell- who knows, I may be lucky enough to be on top of my workload (haha..asking a lot there..)

Another question posed is.. who do I want to cosplay as? I know Final Fantasy characters are waaaay overdone, but they’re the only ones I actually want to cosplay as. I’ve thought through a list of anime characters, but none particularly appeal to me. Sailor Moon is a character I’d LOVE to cosplay.. one day- like, if I’m ever super super good with sewing XD I donno if I have the long legs and good looks for that though, hahaa.. plus her hair will be crazy. So Sailor Moon out the window until I’m very very good (not that I’m practicing so the chances are very slim).

The only other costumes that came in mind were all overdone:

Summoner Yuna (FF X) – I love her outfit, it’s really really elegant.

Songstress Yuna (FFX-2)-  I love the top and skirt.

Aeris (FF7)-  I just like Aeris, lol.  Her hair would be difficult since it’s so long, especially the fringe. Don’t think I could pull it off very well..haha.